A fun poem and it's rather brilliant lolcatz translation

Reading time ~3 minutes

Just for fun.

Neil Gaiman, The Day the Saucers Came

That day, the saucers landed. Hundreds of them, golden, Silent, coming down from the sky like great snowflakes, And the people of Earth stood and stared as they descended, Waiting, dry-mouthed to find what waited inside for us And none of us knowing if we would be here tomorrow But you didn’t notice it because

That day, the day the saucers came, by some coincidence, Was the day that the graves gave up their dead And the zombies pushed up through soft earth or erupted, shambling and dull-eyed, unstoppable, Came towards us, the living, and we screamed and ran, But you did not notice this because

On the saucer day, which was the zombie day, it was
Ragnarok also, and the television screens showed us A ship built of dead-man’s nails, a serpent, a wolf, All bigger than the mind could hold, and the cameraman could Not get far enough away, and then the Gods came out But you did not see them coming because

On the saucer-zombie-battling gods day the floodgates broke
And each of us was engulfed by genies and sprites Offering us wishes and wonders and eternities And charm and cleverness and true brave hearts and pots of gold While giants feefofummed across the land, and killer bees, But you had no idea of any of this because

That day, the saucer day the zombie day
The Ragnarok and fairies day, the day the great winds came And snows, and the cities turned to crystal, the day All plants died, plastics dissolved, the day the Computers turned, the screens telling us we would obey, the day Angels, drunk and muddled, stumbled from the bars, And all the bells of London were sounded, the day Animals spoke to us in Assyrian, the Yeti day, The fluttering capes and arrival of the Time Machine day, You didn’t notice any of this because you were sitting in your room, not doing anything not even reading, not really, just looking at your telephone, wondering if I was going to call.

And it’s lolcatz translation:

I CAN HAS

u can has saucerz fallin lik sno bringin u futur no1 kno what

NTHX I CAN HAS

u can has zombiez shamblin about smellin lik deth and rotn dekay they can has brains?

NTHX I CAN HAS

u can has godz bigger than big thingz fitin the giantz n serpent n wolf

NTHX I CAN HAS

u can has fery talez lvs n spiritz u can has bootz play ur part

NTHX I CAN HAS

u can has NEthing citiez like glass skynet aliv angels n devils humanz be hearin u talk timlords n yeti

NTHX I CAN HAS PHONE CAL? I CAN HAS PHONE CAL? I CAN HAS PHONE CAL?

I’m thinking some bits of that first poem need to get into my quotewall.

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